I realized that there was just over 2 years I was depressed and did not know because Im not suicidal; it seemed only a lack of will. Then the anxiety attacks started. I separated after 14 years of marriage. After, dated, broke up and started some absurd anxiety attacks, arrhythmia, an ice that rises to the leg, sometimes by the arm, gives chills, depends on the occasion. This occurred for about 5 months. In these anxiety attacks, we had a few occasions I was desperate, in agony, desolate.
I follow the taro advice and stay 5 day in home. I was a tarot game addict, I like taro a lot. At that time it was something very obsessive to me. But I was fighting what he told me to do. I did not agree. And I went to a friend´s house that is 5 minutes drive. It took me 25 was blocked on one side, then I could not park. After 20 minutes there, I had the panic attack. I started crying convulsively, I was in absurd suffering. It seemed that my soul was sucked into the top of the head and he was walking on a cold rainy street as thousands of pricked knives (my soul). Its the closest I can describe. I was driving home, crying and screaming and at home played on mobile tarot and te said: Ace of sticks. I understand that I have to do something to bring my soul to the earth. I started dancing and later my kids arrived, I have 3 kids, I was embraced with them, then my sister came and we started talking and got better, but did not talk about what happened because I could not talk about it, but the face of my mother, I imagine that looked upset because she could not stop staring me.
I could not speak about that. I spent two weeks without even opening the window. The taro said to keep me indoors. I did not want to do the conventional treatment, with psychotropic and don`t talk with nobody. I decided to do a different treatment.
The taro helped me to found this meditation below. It is wonderful the Kryon`s Meditation. I`m meditating yet. The taro said that I had to make a message, what I did for 40 days. It was something about 25.000 messages that I wrote. I did not know the subject and it changes. So I confirmed with taro forever. I thought that it is crazy so I started to argue with taro. Those part I did not tell to nobody because they could not accepted the meditation party. Neither do I. But, in the end, I made it. I could not make the right message. But something changes in the process. I was detaching. The enemy became a friend.
This meditation above was essential; I lost my spiritual guide, too, and always worked with then. After I started to work with an i-ching spiritual guide, that helped me to understand (i-ching 25 line 5 talks about panic).
The people with panic disease feel fragile. But You do not. We don’t. the depression does seem because We started getting increasingly dependent. But with courage to go behind our heart´s desires or to drop something important that we have, we can. They are loving people. I felted that the heart of the people who has panic disease is outside, not with the partner or in your chest but, far, far away. And you have to equilibrate that, getting rid of guilt and sorrow.
I don’t know. Each person has your way. We can discovery with oracles but we have to follow. Sometimes it seems crazy like happens with me. But it can work. After 40 days of my outbreak I was smiling in the bank queue and I did not believe it would happen so soon. It was magic. So I started to get out, little by little and, today, I have anxiety, just hungry or arrhythmia. on the other hand, I didn’t have the desolation anymore. It is wonderful to me.
The more important thing to me in the process :I was going against all conventional treatment and against all the people I know, with this method totally crazy and I got it. I could only faith. I don’t know the people´s way just I think is lacking faith for everyone.
The Channelled Meditation: The Seven Magical Healing Energies of Kryon ( i did not found the audio, try to find)..
Close your eyes and go inside... become like a sponge, pretend you are a sponge and all the Kryon energies are here. Your own angels are with you, your spirit guides at your feet. Put your feet flat on the ground and connect to Mother Earth through the soles of your feet, and get that connection... connect to Father Sky through your crown chakra... allow those energies to flow through you, the energies of Father Sky and Mother Earth...
Feel what you are feeling... observe your breath... let the feelings come and let the feelings go. What ever you are feeling it is okay, it is exactly the way it is meant to be... Accept your feelings... if you feel hurt, you feel angry, you feel sad, it is okay, it is normal this is a human experience... As the love begins to flow, maybe you start thinking all sorts of strange thoughts but this is you releasing all the thoughts that aren't loving so let the thoughts come and let the thoughts go, it is okay. Whatever you are thinking it is okay, just let the thoughts come and let them go... Relax, going deeper and deeper and deeper. Whatever you are feeling let the feelings come and let the feelings go...
Look straight into your mother's eyes and connect with what is inside your mother's eyes, whatever is in your mother's eyes just accept it, for in acceptance you are taking responsibility for what you chose. This is what you chose for this lifetime, what you see in your mother's eyes are the lessons of this lifetime, what you can accept you can take responsibility for and ultimately let go of. That will be your lesson learnt. Let the feelings come and let the feelings go... at the same time invoke the seven magical healing energies of Kryon through your heart into your mother's heart.
The first energy is the energy of responsibility, don't intellectualize responsibility just allow the energies to flow. Remember that life is a feeling not an intellectual exercise. Really get the feeling, the energy of responsibility. Let the feelings come and let the feelings go. You are taking full responsibility for choosing your mother, all the things that your mother has and all the gifts that she doesn't have. That is what you chose for this lifetime.
Now let's allow the energy of apology to flow. You might ask ‘why am I apologizing to my mother?' Because she had to behave in a certain way so that you could have your life experience, and also apologise to yourself... let the apology flow wherever it needs to flow... Let the energies flow wherever they need to flow and as these energies flow remember that whatever you feel is normal. Let the feelings come and let the feelings go. Let the feelings come and let the feelings go.
The third energy is of forgiveness. Allow the energy of forgiveness to flow through your heart into your mother's heart and wherever else it needs to flow, back into your ancestry to all your mother's mothers... Let it flow wherever it needs to flow. Whatever comes into your mind or feeling centres that require forgiveness let it happen. What forgiveness ultimately is in this case is a part of you became exactly like your mother, you became exactly like your mother and you accept that all the emotions between you and your mother are released, that is what forgiveness really is, so that there is no clinging, there is no anger, there is no hurt, there is no sadness, there just is.
The next energy is the energy of love and I am sure this is all your mother wanted is to love and be loved. So love and be loved. Allow the love to flow through your heart into your mother's heart and wherever else it needs to flow, allowing a deep, deep connection to your mother and in connecting to your mother you are connecting to Mother Earth. Dropping deeper and deeper and deeper into your body... really thanking the Divine for the miracle, the gift and the energy of love. And, knowing that this is an electronic universe, you are a direct reflection of your mother, to the last atom.
Now the next energy is the energy of surrender. Surrendering all those energies that don't allow you to connect with your mother... the mother is where all the nurturing, caring and loving comes from... your abundance. Like a tree puts its roots deep into Mother Earth it is the same for you... once again let the feelings come and let the feelings go, surrendering all those behaviours, all those emotions, all those thoughts that disconnect you from your mother.
The next energy is the energy of gratitude. Thank the Divine for the miracle and the gift of the energy of gratitude. Let the gratitude flow through your heart into your mother's heart and fill yourself with gratitude. Thanking your mother for the gifts that she gave you... and the gifts that she didn't give you... cover all the bases... fill yourself with gratitude... allow the gratitude to flow... become like a sponge that soaks up gratitude... really get the energy of gratitude, the energy of creation, whatever you are thankful for you will get more of... you will get more mothering, more connection to Mother Earth, more abundance, more love, more joy and more freedom.
The next energy is the energy of letting go. Thank the Divine for the miracle and the gift of the energy of letting go. Once again let the letting go flow through your heart into your mother's heart and to wherever it needs to go... allow yourself to fill with love, love and letting go. The elixir of life is letting go... so, whatever doesn't work for you let it go... one hundred percent of the time something better comes... so let it come... What is your dream? Let your dream come and let it take the place of whatever you have let go of. Once again as your dream enters your body there will be more emotion to contend with... let the feelings come and let the feelings go... let the feelings come and let the feelings go...
Now find yourself at the top of a spiral staircase. There is a sign at the top of this spiral stair case and on that sign is written: "I am very, very angry with God, I won't forgive God". Allow yourself to walk down these stairs, down this spiral staircase, going deeper and deeper and deeper...
At the bottom of these stairs you will find an aspect of your inner child that has been very hurt and that little child is pushing away the Divine. Keep going down deeper and deeper and deeper until you find this aspect of your inner child. What happens in our childhoods is that we become fragmented and what we want to do now is bring this child back to become part of the whole... keep going deeper and deeper and deeper down the stairs till you find that part of the child. If you'd like you could ask Kryon to go with you down those stairs... let Kryon be there with you and your inner child... let Kryon flow between all your cells and all your DNA, filling yourself with Kryon and love...
Once you have found your little child at the bottom of the stairs allow in the seven healing energies of Kryon; the seven magical healing energies of Kryon... the responsibility, the apology, the forgiveness, the love, the surrender, the gratitude... the gratitude for all this child's suffering, the gratitude because this child had to be hurt like that so that you could have your experience.
Maybe the child is angry with God, and the child may be angry with you... and maybe if your little child is angry with you then you may be angry with your little child... so allow these seven magical healing energies of Kryon through all these issues... let the feelings come and let the feelings go... If your child is angry with you and you are angry with your child there is a stand off and you will never get what you are really looking for in life. So let the feelings come and let the feelings go... In this energy the healing will go easy.
When your little child looks safe, loved and secure you can let him or her come into your heart... let the feelings come and let the feelings go... let the feelings come and let the feelings go... your feelings are your gateway to your freedom... what you feel and let go of is gone forever...
Then when you feel you are ready come slowly back to waking consciousness... (http://spiritlibrary.com/kryon-south-africa/the-seven-magical-healing-energies-of-kryon)
This text is a translation of the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqMRBefc-VU
Thank you. See you later.
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